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The Grief Journey, Part 4

11/5/2015

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     I've been remiss in sharing what I feel will be the final installment of the Grief Journey over our greyhound, Charlie.  I'm not certain why it's taken me this long to share, other than it was a beautiful and perhaps private experience.  We released his ashes to the Haw River early Sept.

     We had adopted Darla, our third Greyhound in February and had some issues with her peeing in the house.  They occurred off and on, it was frustrating; sometimes it seemed that she was not understanding the need to communicate -- to indicate that she does want to go outside when we ask; then other times, she peed inside out of upset or stubbornness -- when she wasn't getting what she wanted or I was leaving for a few days.  I'm the main care-taker of the dogs, so it's often difficult when I travel.  Other traits, like her desire to take Oliver's beds and toys or eat his food also could have meant she's insecure, head-strong, or both.   Additionally, just before we adopted her, we had her fixed, which means a hysterectomy and her ovaries were also removed -- the hormonal shifts must have been difficult and confusing for her.  Having rented a carpet cleaner several times to clean the wall-to wall carpets in Drew's office and in the guest bedroom, and gone through cycles of feeling like she's over it, only to have another accident, it was getting old.  On the other hand, my grief-pains for Charlie had sunk to mild levels.

     In late August, I went to Eagle, CO for a splendid Shamanic training with Linda Fitch on working with dreams.  On the last day of the training, we paired off with a partner and did an inquiry about a question or issue of our choice.  I chose to examine Darla's house training problem.  Tuning in to my Spirit Guides, I got a very clear message -- she wasn't sure whether she belongs with us, also it was time to release Charlie's ashes.  Of course!

     After arriving home, we decided to make a day of it, take the dogs and my Shaman kit bag to the Haw River, where I had taken Charlie and Oliver a few times.  It had been dry and the creek next to our house had not flowed in a few months, but I knew that the Haw still did.  After walking for about 15 minutes, Drew made it known that he'd never been there.  I realized that I had been with my friend, Petra, and by myself, but not with him.  So, I guided us to a good spot for wading with some above-water rocks to put stuff on.  We brought the dogs out too -- Oliver loves water and will wallow in it on a hot day, but we had been teaching Darla its benefits too, she was cooperative.  

     I opened Sacred Space, then gave thanks and prayers for Charlie and for Oliver and Darla too.  Drew added a couple of lines.  It felt poignant, but peaceful.  Then we opened the substantial bag of ashes and, with both of our hands on it, poured the powder into the river.  It was heavier than I had expected -- the bulk of it sank to the river floor, but I knew that with time, it would wash away or be blended into Mother Earth.  A good friend in CO had given me two roses to be used in a ceremony of my choice.  I took apart the velvety petals, and we released them, watching the red and pink gently bob down stream.  It felt complete, so I closed Sacred Space.  The whole thing lasted no more than 15 minutes, but I felt things shift -- like a soft hug for us all.  After a while, Darla had perched on a dry rock in the river, but was not disturbed as I finished up.  Afterwards, we waded on dry land and all had a lovely hike along the river.  

     After coming home, my Spirit Guides said that the obstacle to entering Darla's ID on the pet finder site has gone.  We had her microchipped before we adopted her and were given instructions to enter her address, name, etc. on line, only when I had tried, the amount of numbers were far more than could fit.  I had tried several times -- breaking the long train of numbers into fragments, and had placed several calls to the adoption agency, to no avail.  Lo and behold, I entered the numbers with no issues and was able to include a beautiful photo, with important info.  Done!  

     Now Darla knows that she's ours -- there's not been an accident since, and Charlie's remains are with Pacha Mama.  This doesn't mean that his memory is gone, or that I don't still sometimes miss him, yet everything is in Ayni, or right relationship.  In this, there is peace.  

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