But, somewhere between my first and second appointments with my doctor, Petra, my dear friend whom I met during my first Shamanic training in 2009 contacted me about a special opportunity. She and Suzannah, another friend from that period were offering the Nusta Karpi in Asheville. It's a series of rites connecting participants energetically to 7 Goddesses, which are linked to 7 mountains in Peru and also to the 7 Chakras. It was to happen in 3 weeks time.
I was drawn to sign up, but hesitated. Is this a good time to receive the Divine Feminine, while I was possibly moving towards hysterectomy? Would it be better to receive them afterwards? To help me recover and re-unite? Unless it was determined that my case was so bad, an emergency procedure was recommended, I'd be receiving the rites before whatever medical stuff I needed.
My sonogram appointment hadn't gone well. The technician, who was oddly cold and distracted by my inter-uterine views on screen, had blurted out "did your doctor say you need a hysterectomy?" while the probe was in my nether regions. Aside from being angered by her inappropriate question, I was also upset. All along, I knew hysterectomy was a possible ending, but we were still information-gathering, darn-it! Meanwhile, I was altering my diet and trying to exercise more, to escape diabetes. I had a lot on my plate! Is it time for Shamanic work? I discussed my conundrum with Petra.
Together, we concluded that it was the best time for Shamanic work. The Nustas (Goddesses, Karpi means rite) would help me through the journey as soon as they were within my Luminous Energy Field (LEF). So, with some anxiety about all the changes that were coming, I signed up.
Before the Nusta Karpi, I had my second appointment with my doctor -- the one where she recommended a hysterectomy and I was cool, until I cried in my car (in Part 2). The Nustas were March 21 - 23 and my surgery was April 11th. When I arrived for the rites, I knew my surgery date and had been on a stricter version of the diet for about a week. After all the health issues I'd been concerned with, I was joyous to going into something I love.
Once again, meeting the other participants felt like a homecoming, though I only knew Petra, Suzannah and Kim, another participant. Though men are invited to partake in the Nusta Karpis (Petra's also had a group of 3 men and 3 women), our group was all women -- and how beautiful and varied we were! During our personal introductions, it was clear that all of us needed to be there at that moment in our lives. We heartily shared the deepest, heaviest stuff we were dealing with. I was a graduate of the Four Winds training, but I'd never felt the special bond of working together, so instantaneously. It was wonderful! As we received the rites, each Goddess had a different flavor of love, support, wisdom, etc. to share and the overall energy kept growing in a multidimentional way, not just rising, but intensifying and deepening with each new Goddess. The Nustas work together within us, and Petra emphasized that with time and work after receiving them, we will be able to distinguish the individual voices of the Goddesses, but sometimes they all speak as a group -- how feminine is that trait?
I realized that the Goddess energy is only tied to having a uterus, or any particular feminine biology, like a beautiful landscape is tied to the fact that it's made out of atoms -- we don't engage with and admire the atoms and they come in all forms. The presence and love is so much greater than our physical bodies, gender, dichotomies and small concepts. Yet, instead of being overpowering, the sweetness with which they held me, was and still is personal and beyond compare. It was a blessing, a gift to be there and I'm so grateful to Petra, Suzannah -- for hosting, and all the glorious women in our group. We held the space for each other to step in and work with our obstacles and difficulties first, so that each Nusta could come and be placed like a perfect rose on the mantle of a clean, beautiful house.