The day after my first ceremony, we took a jungle walk, lead by Oscar, an extremely knowledgeable guide. After lunch, in small groups, we did a guided meditation and healing work with Linda. I extricated my father's judgmental voice, which had showed up the previous night during ceremony.
All day, I knew what my next topic would be -- my 7.5 year old sci-fi book, which was instigated by my first Shamanic training with the Four Winds. I intend to finish it this summer and simultaneously begin searching for agents and publishers, and to begin the next book in the Convergence series. www.convergenceepic.com
I formulated the following question for my second night: "Please show me how to finish my book to my best ability and how to get it published, so many readers will enjoy it." It seems wordy, but it was easy to repeat. Sensing my readiness, Don Guido gave me about 2 tablespoons that night. 15 minutes after taking the dose, while he was still giving it to others and I was unaffected, I got up and peed.
Satisfied, I took my seated position, with water bottle at hand. I had resolved to offer no resistance or snarky remarks this time. In fact, I mentally repeated a welcome to Ayahuasca as the effects began -- the buzzing noise and numbness were strong, but I had no fear. I kept my breath smooth and deep, sipped water when I wanted and stayed still. As the heavy dullness creeps over me, my mouth tends to hang open -- which is great because I tend to have jaw tension, however, I didn't want my mouth to dry out. I compromised by sticking my lower lip to my upper teeth, so it wouldn't gape. The mouth stuff was my only struggle as the trip came on. Whereas on the previous night, I got a flush of heat at this phase, probably because it had been 5 years since my last Ayahuasca experience, on this night, I was comfortable.
Because Don Guido gave me more, I was in for a longer ride. One of the first images I got was a sword cutting through all 4 fingers of a hand. This would have been disturbing, if my topic wasn't my book. This was the solution to a dilemma I was wrestling with -- how my protagonist will be wounded in a key battle later on. After giving thanks, the image never reappeared. I had many scenes from Astovar, a paradise planet that the Empire is trying to colonize -- wildflowers cloaking foothills with mountains beyond, millions of butterflies and more. Ayahuasca tends to show me images like kaleidoscopes, with multiple copies fanning out in rainbows. One theme that came throughout the night was honeybees. I took its meaning as I need to be industrious and produce my honey to share with others.
Excitingly, I had an image of the book cover. Previously, I kept getting caught up in an unoriginal Star Wars menagerie of overlapping faces when I thought about it. Well Doctor Aya had a different idea -- rows of the skulls of my four species of humanoids, wrapped around a sphere or cylinder with a rainbow tie dyed nebula background. It was stunning. Trusting it completely, I gave thanks.
At some point, I got a funny cartoon of rabbits and frogs in a marching band -- the rabbits played percussion and frogs, the horns. I assumed this had to do with a publisher, though I still don't know what. There was also a name in big block letters: H.W. Fog. Agent? Editor? Publisher? Who knows, but I took it. I also had an army of spiders, marching down a Wizard of Oz-like hallway -- I don't know how I'll incorporate it, or even if I should, literally. But, it was cool. Amusingly, nail polish came up again that night, also lots of male and female genitals -- this time, not warped. It's fun, but the deeper meaning is all about creativity and passion.
The trip continued for a while and these aren't the only images I had, but I wasn't able to write down more than this in my diary from the time. However, most remarkable was how smooth it was, despite its length. How quickly Ayahuasca responded to my saying, "I got it, thank you." It was a partnership! The only doubt I have in retrospect is how I didn't question any image further, figuring that meanings will trickle in slowly. I'm not sure if that was wise, but that's what I did. When the purging came on, all I had was diarrhea a couple of times. I only threw up once on the first night and that's most likely because I snuck in an apple at around 3 in the afternoon. The last food we were supposed to have was lunch.
As the trip began to fade, it stayed at a gentle level for a while, with images, but minimal numbness and no more purging. I lay down and enjoyed that sublime state. When the last effects left, most of the group was also winding down. We finished up not long after that.
The guidance I received was invaluable and inspiring. Aside from finishing the book, I have also resolved to do more artwork for it. My art can be found on my book's website, listed in the marsh picture section of this blog and elsewhere. I feel equipped to complete this baby. Thank you, Doctor Ayahuasca.